ramblings of the heart

i lack talent..

i lack experience..

but i'm willing to learn..

i lack discipline..

physically imperfect..

heartache..

soul searching..still searching..

I am in love..

with Allah s.w.t..

truly in love..

wanting to change..only for HIM..

waiting for the moment...

to gain HIS trust...

I am imperfect..

forever weak..

forever walk in the depth of despair..

unknowingly...

fearful..

but with faith of survival..

although sometimes fallen from YOUR grace..

I am only human..

I am weaker than any being..

but stronger in believing..

I am human..

I am weaker than any being..

but stronger in believing..

in nothing else but YOU..

i wish he was here...

you most loved Prophet..

i wish he was here..to help us with life..

oh i envy those who lived by you..

while you lived..they gained everything..

Oh i miss you ya Rasulullah s.a.w

for i wish you were here with us right now..

telling us that everything will be okay..

For i miss you..

For i am weak..

For i need you..

For all i have now is your shalawat.. 

All i have is now..is your shawalat..

Selamat Berpuasa

Alhamdulillah...

I've given another chance to perform my puasa ibadah this year. Alhamdulllah..ini adalah puasa kedua yang saya sambut dengan Shamsur. Bersyukur sungguh dengan segala pemberian Ilahi. Banyak perkara yang tak pernah sangka berlaku dalam hidup saya..tahun ini berlaku satu per satu...

I am blessed that Allah showed, guided and provided me with the reality of my life. Now i know what to expect and at least how to find a solution for it. I am blessed with everything he has given me..and i will work hard to be a better khalifah in years to come..

InsyaAllah...dengan izin Allah niat baik tahun ini bakal menjadi kenyataan. But i believe in my heart, that we; me and Shamsur, will have to ask from HIM everyday to give strength, give us guidance and a chance to be united in matrimony.

Masa dah berubah...saya dah berubah..sekarang kehidupan ini hanyalah untuk memperoleh keberkatan Ilahi. Dahulu saya langsung tidak faham maksud itu, sekarang, alhamdulillah...dengan niat untuk menjalankan ibadah dan sunnah  bersama Shamsur, dan di bulan yang amat mulia ini, tiada lain yang saya kejar melainkan keberkatan-Nya.

It's as if nothing in this world mattered if God is not with me. I can never imagine if God ever left me..forgot about me..hated me. The feeling is similar, even greater than the feeling i feel without Shamsur in my life,,

Alhamdulillah he understands that cintaku hanya pada yang satu..but seluruh hidupku hanya akan dikongsi dengan kamu :) i love you sayang..

Regards.

Nak Kahwin Dah...

surprised? yes..so am i..never thought that we would finally be getting married. i love him very much..the best thing about our relationship is that we know each other's flaw..and choose to accept it..choose to take responsibility for it..choose to just "redha" with everything..

i'm not saying that we have the most perfect relationship..we are only human..we are flawed. But everyone deserves a second chance..and if you have faith in them..they will change for the better.

I have faith in both him..and HIM. i know in my heart that both him...and HIM will take care of me. Aku cuma boleh berdoa and redha dengan masa depan yang bakal tiba. Apa pun yang mungkin berlaku...aku terima dengan ingatan tulus ikhlas kepada Allah..

insyaAllah impian yang selama ini ku impikan akan dimakbulkan..

i love you Shamsur..kita doalah sama-sama ok.. :)

If Eyes Can See..

it's been awhile since I've been inspired..

by life..

by love..

by the world and its existence..

no one knows what i truly feel..

the love..

the shame..

the loyalty remains..

they look at me and only see abandonment,

if not that..then maybe resentment...

but i worry only for the forsaken..

not of them but more of me..

no one know how much i miss HIM..

but awaits the time where the soul is redeemed..

i wish so hard..so it won't die..

none made it worth the uncanny lie..

but i put faith in faith..as where it should be..

to have faith in HIM, in you..and in me..

yours truly,

Jazlin