ramblings of the heart

i lack talent..

i lack experience..

but i'm willing to learn..

i lack discipline..

physically imperfect..

heartache..

soul searching..still searching..

I am in love..

with Allah s.w.t..

truly in love..

wanting to change..only for HIM..

waiting for the moment...

to gain HIS trust...

I am imperfect..

forever weak..

forever walk in the depth of despair..

unknowingly...

fearful..

but with faith of survival..

although sometimes fallen from YOUR grace..

I am only human..

I am weaker than any being..

but stronger in believing..

I am human..

I am weaker than any being..

but stronger in believing..

in nothing else but YOU..

i wish he was here...

you most loved Prophet..

i wish he was here..to help us with life..

oh i envy those who lived by you..

while you lived..they gained everything..

Oh i miss you ya Rasulullah s.a.w

for i wish you were here with us right now..

telling us that everything will be okay..

For i miss you..

For i am weak..

For i need you..

For all i have now is your shalawat.. 

All i have is now..is your shawalat..

Selamat Berpuasa

Alhamdulillah...

I've given another chance to perform my puasa ibadah this year. Alhamdulllah..ini adalah puasa kedua yang saya sambut dengan Shamsur. Bersyukur sungguh dengan segala pemberian Ilahi. Banyak perkara yang tak pernah sangka berlaku dalam hidup saya..tahun ini berlaku satu per satu...

I am blessed that Allah showed, guided and provided me with the reality of my life. Now i know what to expect and at least how to find a solution for it. I am blessed with everything he has given me..and i will work hard to be a better khalifah in years to come..

InsyaAllah...dengan izin Allah niat baik tahun ini bakal menjadi kenyataan. But i believe in my heart, that we; me and Shamsur, will have to ask from HIM everyday to give strength, give us guidance and a chance to be united in matrimony.

Masa dah berubah...saya dah berubah..sekarang kehidupan ini hanyalah untuk memperoleh keberkatan Ilahi. Dahulu saya langsung tidak faham maksud itu, sekarang, alhamdulillah...dengan niat untuk menjalankan ibadah dan sunnah  bersama Shamsur, dan di bulan yang amat mulia ini, tiada lain yang saya kejar melainkan keberkatan-Nya.

It's as if nothing in this world mattered if God is not with me. I can never imagine if God ever left me..forgot about me..hated me. The feeling is similar, even greater than the feeling i feel without Shamsur in my life,,

Alhamdulillah he understands that cintaku hanya pada yang satu..but seluruh hidupku hanya akan dikongsi dengan kamu :) i love you sayang..

Regards.

Nak Kahwin Dah...

surprised? yes..so am i..never thought that we would finally be getting married. i love him very much..the best thing about our relationship is that we know each other's flaw..and choose to accept it..choose to take responsibility for it..choose to just "redha" with everything..

i'm not saying that we have the most perfect relationship..we are only human..we are flawed. But everyone deserves a second chance..and if you have faith in them..they will change for the better.

I have faith in both him..and HIM. i know in my heart that both him...and HIM will take care of me. Aku cuma boleh berdoa and redha dengan masa depan yang bakal tiba. Apa pun yang mungkin berlaku...aku terima dengan ingatan tulus ikhlas kepada Allah..

insyaAllah impian yang selama ini ku impikan akan dimakbulkan..

i love you Shamsur..kita doalah sama-sama ok.. :)

If Eyes Can See..

it's been awhile since I've been inspired..

by life..

by love..

by the world and its existence..

no one knows what i truly feel..

the love..

the shame..

the loyalty remains..

they look at me and only see abandonment,

if not that..then maybe resentment...

but i worry only for the forsaken..

not of them but more of me..

no one know how much i miss HIM..

but awaits the time where the soul is redeemed..

i wish so hard..so it won't die..

none made it worth the uncanny lie..

but i put faith in faith..as where it should be..

to have faith in HIM, in you..and in me..

yours truly,

Jazlin

The Charge Of The Light Brigade

The Charge Of The Light Brigade

by Alfred, Lord Tennyson Memorializing Events in the Battle of Balaclava, October 25, 1854
Written 1854


Half a league half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred:
'Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns' he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

'Forward, the Light Brigade!'
Was there a man dismay'd ?
Not tho' the soldier knew
Some one had blunder'd:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do & die,
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd & thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.

Flash'd all their sabres bare,
Flash'd as they turn'd in air
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army while
All the world wonder'd:
Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right thro' the line they broke;
Cossack & Russian
Reel'd from the sabre-stroke,
Shatter'd & sunder'd.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the six hundred.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
While horse & hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Death,
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wonder'd.
Honour the charge they made!
Honour the Light Brigade,
Noble six hundred!   

i love this poem..

Jazlin's Theme...Thanks Mariah :)

Close My Eyes


Verse 1
I was a wayward child 
With the weight of the world
That I held deep inside
Life was a winding road
And I learned many things
Little ones shouldn't know

Chorus 1
But I closed my eyes
Steadied my feet on the ground
Raised my head to the sky
And let times roll by
Still I feel like that child 
As I look at the moon
Maybe I grew up a little too soon

Verse 2
Funny how one can learn 
To grow numb to the madness 
And block it away
I left the worst unsaid
Let it all dissipate
And I try to forget

Chorus 2
As I close my eyes
Steady my feet on the ground
Raise my head to the sky
And let time roll by
Still I feel like a child 
As I look at the moon
Maybe I grew up a little too soon

Bridge
Nearing the edge
Oblivious I almost
Fell right over 
A part of me
Will never be quite able
To feel stable
That woman-child feeling inside
Was on the verge of fading 
Thankfully I 
Woke up in time

Verse 3
Guardian angel I
Sail away on an ocean 
With you by my side
orange clouds roll by 
They burn into your image 
And you're still alive
(You're always alive)

Chorus 3
As I close my eyes 
Steady my feet on the ground 
Raise my head to the sky
And though time rolls by 
Still I feel like a child 
As I look at the moon
Maybe I grew up a little too soon..


-Mariah Carey-

I'm Sorry For Everything...

I hate when you ignore me,

and  the way you make me sad,

I hate it when you're being unfair,

and when you make me mad,

I hate it when you're angry ,

or whenever we argue,

I hate it when you're not with me,

because i can't stop thinking about you,,

I hate the way you’re always right,

I hate it when you lie,

I hate it when you make me smile and then when you make me cry...

but with all the things that i do hate,

you're still everything that i love,

nothing about you is imperfect, 

you fit my life like a glove,

i know i've made you unhappy too,

and i wish i could change that, 

all i want you to know,

is that i fell in love with you from the first day we met...

You're the sound that my heart makes,

and you're the same sound when it breaks,

and i still i promise my heart  to you,

for as long as it takes...

i love you sayang..

and sorry for everything...